Everything below is stated in minutes from our own front door, because that is the thing you are actually trying to work out and nobody in this town publishes it.
Timed at an ordinary walking pace by somebody not in a hurry. Excelsior Springs is built on a hill, so two of these are uphill coming back and it says so.
By car: thirty five minutes to downtown Kansas City, twenty minutes to Interstate 35 at Kearney, forty five minutes to the airport. There is off street parking for four cars behind the house and you will not need the car once it is parked.
Listed in the order you reach them from the stair. Every room has its own bathroom, inside the room, for that room only. Nobody shares anything with us or with each other, and we say so first because it is the question people are too polite to telephone and ask.
Over the porch, with the two big windows onto the street. The brightest room in the house and the first one to go on a weekend.
At the back, over the garden. The quietest room in the house and the one people ask for a second time.
Genuinely small, and priced accordingly. One person, or two who like each other. We would rather tell you now than have you find out at nine at night.
Added at the back in 1974 and the only room with no stairs at all, from the parking to the bed. It books first for anybody who needs it, so please say when you ring.
Excelsior Springs was a mineral water resort and it still looks like one. The Hall of Waters is the reason the downtown is grander than a town this size has any right to be, and the Elms is the reason most people come.
Three o'clock to eight. Later than eight is fine if you ring, and somebody will be up. We will not leave you standing on the porch with a keypad.
Eleven. Leave the bags in the hall and walk downtown if your day runs later.
Yes, in the Ground Floor Room only, one dog, $25. We have our own and they will want to meet.
Twelve and over, because the rooms are small and the walls are 1893 walls.
Free up to seven days before. Inside seven days we ask for one night, and we waive it if we let the room.
Nowhere inside. The porch is fine and there is an ashtray at the far end of it.
There are four rooms and two of us, so a real person answers and knows which room is right for what you are coming for. Ring between eight in the morning and nine at night. If we are making breakfast we will ring you back within the hour.