Mockup. A sample website built by Noahlot for a real Northland business category. Not a real inn and it takes no bookings. Every name, number, rate and detail below is invented.
Excelsior Springs, Missouri · built 1893 (816) 555‑0159
A restored two-story clapboard house painted soft cream with dark green trim, a deep porch with turned posts and wicker chairs, stone steps up from the sidewalk and mature oaks in the late afternoon sun.

Four rooms, four private bathrooms, and the Hall of Waters is nine minutes on foot.

Everything below is stated in minutes from our own front door, because that is the thing you are actually trying to work out and nobody in this town publishes it.

From the front door

Timed at an ordinary walking pace by somebody not in a hurry. Excelsior Springs is built on a hill, so two of these are uphill coming back and it says so.

By car: thirty five minutes to downtown Kansas City, twenty minutes to Interstate 35 at Kearney, forty five minutes to the airport. There is off street parking for four cars behind the house and you will not need the car once it is parked.

The deep front porch of an old clapboard house seen from inside, with turned posts, painted grey floorboards, two wicker chairs with faded cushions, a small table between them and a swing at the far end.
The porch faces west, so it is the right place to be at about seven in the evening and the wrong place at two in the afternoon in July.

The four rooms

Listed in the order you reach them from the stair. Every room has its own bathroom, inside the room, for that room only. Nobody shares anything with us or with each other, and we say so first because it is the question people are too polite to telephone and ask.

The Front Room

$155

Over the porch, with the two big windows onto the street. The brightest room in the house and the first one to go on a weekend.

Bathroom
Private, in the room. Tub with a shower over it
Bed
Queen, iron frame
Stairs
One flight, sixteen steps, handrail on the right
Noise
Street side. Quiet after nine, but it is the street side

The Green Room

$145

At the back, over the garden. The quietest room in the house and the one people ask for a second time.

Bathroom
Private, in the room. Walk in shower, no tub
Bed
Queen
Stairs
One flight, sixteen steps, handrail on the right
Noise
Garden side. Birds, and nothing else

The Small Room

$125

Genuinely small, and priced accordingly. One person, or two who like each other. We would rather tell you now than have you find out at nine at night.

Bathroom
Private, in the room. Shower only, and it is a compact one
Bed
Double
Stairs
One flight, sixteen steps, handrail on the right
Noise
Side of the house, over the drive

The Ground Floor Room

$165

Added at the back in 1974 and the only room with no stairs at all, from the parking to the bed. It books first for anybody who needs it, so please say when you ring.

Bathroom
Private, in the room. Walk in shower, grab rails fitted
Bed
King
Stairs
None. Level from the back parking, one 32 inch doorway
Noise
Garden side
A guest bedroom with an antique iron bed under a white quilt, a marble-topped nightstand with a lamp, muted sage patterned wallpaper, a worn rug on a wooden floor and an open door showing a tiled bathroom.
The Green Room, photographed in the morning with nothing moved. The door on the right is its own bathroom.

Breakfast is at eight

A breakfast table set for four with a white cloth, mismatched antique china, a glass pitcher of juice, a coffee pot and a bowl of pears, with tall curtained windows behind.
One sitting, one table, four rooms. If you would rather not talk to anybody at eight in the morning, say so and we will leave yours in the front room.
  • One sitting, eight o'clockNot a buffet and not a menu. One cooked thing, one baked thing, fruit, and coffee that starts at half past six on the sideboard.
  • Tell us in advanceVegetarian, gluten, dairy and nut are all no trouble with a day's notice and a nuisance with none.
  • Earlier than eightIf you have to leave at six we will set out bread, fruit, yoghurt and a flask the night before.
  • Not includedDinner. Downtown is nine minutes and better at it than we are.

The town, honestly

Excelsior Springs was a mineral water resort and it still looks like one. The Hall of Waters is the reason the downtown is grander than a town this size has any right to be, and the Elms is the reason most people come.

  • Midweek is quietGenuinely quiet. Some downtown kitchens close Monday and Tuesday, so ring ahead rather than walking down and finding out.
  • Weekends fillSpa weekends, weddings and reunions. Book further out for a Saturday than you think you need to.
  • OctoberThe best month here and the one we sell out first.
  • The waterYou can still taste the mineral water in town. It is an acquired taste and we are not going to pretend otherwise.
A downtown street with a grand limestone civic building with tall arched windows on one side, low brick storefronts opposite, a wide sidewalk with planters and a wooded hill rising behind the rooftops.
Nine minutes down the hill. Rather longer coming back up it after dinner.

House rules, all of them

Check in

Three o'clock to eight. Later than eight is fine if you ring, and somebody will be up. We will not leave you standing on the porch with a keypad.

Check out

Eleven. Leave the bags in the hall and walk downtown if your day runs later.

Dogs

Yes, in the Ground Floor Room only, one dog, $25. We have our own and they will want to meet.

Children

Twelve and over, because the rooms are small and the walls are 1893 walls.

Cancelling

Free up to seven days before. Inside seven days we ask for one night, and we waive it if we let the room.

Smoking

Nowhere inside. The porch is fine and there is an ashtray at the far end of it.

Booking is a telephone call.

There are four rooms and two of us, so a real person answers and knows which room is right for what you are coming for. Ring between eight in the morning and nine at night. If we are making breakfast we will ring you back within the hour.

The Watercress House123 Main Street
Excelsior Springs, MO 64024
Telephone(816) 555‑0159
stay@example.com
RoomsFour, each with its own bathroom
One of them with no stairs
Rates$125 to $165 a night
Breakfast for two included